


Maybe, Probably

by TheHeartInNoDice



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind Date, Bottom Richie Tozier, Losers in their 20s, M/M, Other relationships - Freeform, Top Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:21:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29722695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHeartInNoDice/pseuds/TheHeartInNoDice
Summary: Richie's friends are sick of him moping (and moaning) around the house and set him up on a blind date.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	Maybe, Probably

Richie is 26. An adult. An up and coming comedian with a bright future ahead of him. Well, at least that's what he hopes. In reality, he's only been going to the stand-up club for a few months, and it's not like this is a metropolis or anything. He hasn't been discovered yet, but he knows it's only a matter of time.

The point is, he's 26. An adult, even if he basically never behaves as such. So he likes practical jokes, so what? So he dipped Mike's hand in warm water while he was asleep on their couch one afternoon and caused him to have an accident. It was funny! He laughed. Mike didn't. And neither did Stan when he got home from work. He even laughed when Stan made him wash the couch all on his own. But then again, he was high, so everything was funny.

 _The point is_ , he's 26. An adult, which means he shouldn't need his friends help to get laid. He's handsome too, even if he does have a little complex about his buck teeth and being generally taller than everyone else. He's been around, he sees people noticing him whenever he strides through a room, full of swagger and confidence. Of course, none of his onlookers need to know just how inexperienced he really is. He had a little girlfriend in high-school, and they even kissed a few times. It was years later when he finally admitted to himself he didn't like girls. And after Stan came home early one day just to find him furiously making out with another guy on the already famed couch, he admitted to his friends too. He had sex with that guy exactly twice, because he wanted to try both topping and bottoming to see which he preferred, although he was pretty sure he'd be more into receiving it. He didn't like either.

 _But I_ know _I'm gay_ , he thinks, staring intently into his reflection as his knuckles turn white where he's grabbing the sink.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that he didn't particularly like the guy or anything; he just thought he was hot. Wasn't that enough? 

Apparently it wasn't.

But it did traumatize him, to the point that he was scared to sleep with another guy, and have it happen again. It traumatized him enough that he went celibate for two whole years.

Not that it stopped him from jerking off. Constantly. Day and night. And fingering himself, using some bottle of massage oil one of Stan's dates left there once. He couldn't even think about entering a sex shop and buying actual lube, feeling like the moment he'd be two feet away from the door, a hole would open on the ground and a satanic hand would drag him to hell. His catholic upbringing had nothing to do with this.

His friends tried showing pictures of all the attractive men they knew, but Richie would barely glance at them. Not worth it, he wasn't going to force it. When it happened, it would have to be naturally, it's the only way he was sure it would work out.

The point-- the point is that both Mike and Stan were fed up with it. With the amount of toilet rolls that would go missing because Richie couldn't be bothered to buy his own tissues. With how loud he was when he climaxed. With how weird their dates would look at them when they heard it too.

It was Stan's idea. "Listen, Rich. I know this guy from college, and whenever I see him, something just tells me you would be great for each other."

Richie's not even remotely convinced. He crosses his arms, giving Stan the most condescending look he can muster. "Really? Why is that? Is he like, a comedian too? Does he do stand up?" Is he sex starved?

"Uh… no, but listen. He introduced me to Patty. They used to date, actually." Before Richie can express his confusion, Stan continues. "Bi. And he's, well, he's got a weird sense of humor. I don't think it's all that different from yours, actually. I know for a fact he's not seeing anyone at the moment, and I just thought maybe you two should meet."

Richie's baffled. "Stan. Listen, buddy. I'm happy you finally got someone to take care of your sad, lonely pecker, I really am. But you can't expect me to just do the same with some rando you've apparated out of nowhere. I'm sorry to say, but that's a thanks but no thank you."

Stan hums. "That's too bad. Even though it's not my thing, I will admit he's very good looking. And…" He looks at his phone. "Judging by what I told him, he'll be at the Tortuga Bay in about half an hour. All alone, waiting for his date that will never come."

'You didn't." Richie can't believe it. Did Stan really just do that to him? He's already pulling his sweaty t-shirt over his head. "Fuck you, Stan." Because Stan knows Richie wouldn't just leave someone hanging like that. "You took advantage of me, how dare you. And at my club too?" He runs to the bathroom, dabbing some water on his pits and drying it with the hand towel. Then he brushes his teeth, still fuming at Stan, who at this point, is already texting Patty to tell her everything's going to be okay.

28 minutes later, Richie's at the Tortuga Bay. It's not a particularly fancy restaurant or anything, but it's not the mall food court either. It only works as a comedy club on the weekends, and to Richie, it feels like a completely different place all lit up like that, especially since he's used to looking at it from the stage. 

The only directions he got from Stan other than good looking were strong eyebrows and very expressive brown eyes. And a name. Eddie Kaspbrak. He walks around casually, looking at the tables occupied by one person only, but no one seems to fit. So he sits down, hoping that maybe this elusive Polish man will find him instead.

Five minutes after he's sat down, someone stands beside his table, and he raises an eyebrow from the menu, doing his best to glare at them. 

It's not the guy. This one's too handsome, hair slicked back and a leather jacket. Not exactly the kind of person who'd be after a blind date. It still gives him a spine-tingling shiver.

The guy lays a hand on the chair across Richie's. "Um, hey."

Richie can only stare in awe. Is he lost? Shouldn't he be talking to a waiter or something?

The guy continues speaking. "Richie?"

And Richie can only nod. 

"Fuck, thank God. I thought Stan was fucking with me, like he should be, given I-- not important. Hi, I'm Eddie."

Richie can't believe it, can't believe anything. His eyes, his brain, his luck. The gorgeous man standing by his table is supposed to be his date? What? "Yeah, Richie Tozier. Sit down, man, you're making me squirm."

The handsome man sits down and smiles at him. "So, I heard you're undateable."

If Richie had been drinking from his glass right now, he would have spluttered all over his date. It's a good thing the guy was prepared, it was almost like he knew the absurd thing he spat wasn't going to get a normal response. So Richie only stammered and choked a little, masking the end of his gags into laughter. "Naaaw, I'd hardly call myself that. Stanley was overreacting, I assure you."

"He told me, literally no one was good enough for you, and you'd rather date yourself than fixing this?"

Richie is beside himself. He holds a knife, thinking about sticking it into Stan's neck, until he realizes the beautiful stranger is telling the truth. "Maybe. Okay? Maybe. Do you wanna try the lobster? I heard it's really good."

"Sure." Eddie smiles at him in a way that makes him want to think of not dumb things to say. He can't think of anything. All his comedy routines revolve around him being a heterosexual man for some reason, and here he is, on a date with the hottest guy he's ever seen, realizing for the first time that he doesn't really know how to flirt with another man.

He tries. "So did Stan tell you I was gonna be this cute or did it catch you by surprise?" He seriously can't think of anything better to say.

Eddie just smiles as he glances at the menu. "I don't think cute is the word he used. Enthusiastic, if I remember correctly." He raises his eyes from the menu. "But yeah, sure."

Richie doesn't know what to do with himself. This man is seriously messing up with him, and he's starting to think he's really okay with it.

Until he thinks about the other guy. Carter. Connie? He can't remember, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is, he only got with him because the guy was hot. And not only it didn't work, it kind of fucked up his life a little. He can't make the same mistake again. So he steels himself, tries not to focus on the guy's stunning brown eyes, his deep dimples when he smiles, his square chin, his neat hair, his perfect looks.

It doesn't work, of course, and all he can think about is how the guy must look like naked. How he must sound like if Richie's sucking him off, or what kinds of dirty things he'll say in bed.

And then the guys's fingers are snapping in front of his eyes, and Richie can only imagine how red his face must be. He tries to ignore that, too. "Hey."

"Yeah, sorry. Thinking about uh, food." 

"Food, huh?" The guy smirks at him, and Richie just knows he's been had. "Yeah, sure. I could eat." Richie wonders what the hell the guy's thinking about, where does he think he is? Of course they're going to eat.

They do order and eat, talking about trivial things, and Richie almost forgets about how much he wants the guy to bend him over the table and just give it to him, almost forgets about how he wants to show him his movie collection, eager to learn about which movies in it he likes and which ones he doesn't. How much he wants to make him laugh. But he can't think of a single funny thing to say. Richie. The comedian Richie Tozier can't think of a funny thing.

So he just orders dessert and eats some of it with his fingers, licking them and trying to look his sexiest. Because fuck it. He wants this guy. It doesn't matter if it'll fuck him even worse. He wants to try it anyway. "So, uh, where do we go from here, Eds?"

Eddie raises an eyebrow at the nickname, but smiles. "I don't know. How about my place?"

Richie wants to tell him. He wants to tell him he doesn't want something empty and meaningless. He wants to tell him, _Eds, you're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen on this earth, and something in my brain or possibly my groin tells me this is true love, will you be my boyfriend?_ "Sounds like a plan, Eduardoman."

They finish their dessert, and then Richie finds out that Eddie's brought his car, a vintage black Camaro that only helps to accentuate his bad boy looks.

"Do not drag dirt into my car."

Richie's brought out of his fantasy about throwing the guy over the hood and sucking him off. "Hmm?"

"Your feet. I just washed this car and I don't wanna have to do it again so soon. Be careful where you step."

Oh, the bad boy doesn't like being dirty? Richie can't wait to change that. He walks around the parts of the pavement he considers slightly less grimy, because the car does look pristine, he doesn't doubt Eddie would notice whatever specs of dirt he brought along with him.

Once inside, the silence feels heavy. If he didn't know what to say at the restaurant, when they were surrounded by people and talking about trivial matters, now that he's alone with Eddie, and actually going to his house to have sex (unless he's read the situation very, very wrong), he's at a complete loss. "So, what do you do, Eddie?'

"You, hopefully." Nope, read it just right. He smiles, shaking his head. "Just working a boring office job at the moment. Where I'll eventually get promoted, make a shit ton of money and open my own auto shop."

"Oh, you're a car guy?" Makes sense him having such an old car in such good conditions.

"Yeah, you could say that. And you…" Eddie sighs a little, looking outside the window, then back to the road. "Listen, I gotta tell you the truth. I know I made it seem like I didn't know you, but I… I've been to a couple of your shows. I'm sorry for deceiving you."

A shiver of excitement strikes Richie, and now he's thinking about all his routines, and what kind of outrageous things Eddie has heard him spewing. That's the bad part. The good part is that Eddie's seen him. And decided he wanted something to do with him. He's probably the one who talked Stan into setting this up. "It's cool, I'm flattered actually. So, what did you think?"

"Of your act?" He shrugs. "I almost laughed a couple of times." Ouch. "I'm kidding, it wasn't so bad. I just don't get your choice of material. Stan said you were out."

"I… it's complicated. I mean, I don't hide that I'm gay or anything. If you had tried to shove your tongue down my throat back at the restaurant, I totally would have let you. But I'm not out to my parents, although I have a strange feeling they know. I just haven't gotten around to telling them yet. And sometimes I have my friends record me and send some of the less… crude tidbits to them."

Eddie nods. "I understand. You shouldn't rush it. Do it when the time's right for you. I mean, if you're going to."

"I will. I just have no idea how I'm supposed to know when it's the right time."

Eddie turns on the radio and lowers the volume until the music is barely a soft hum under his voice. "The first person I told was my cousin, back when I was 16, 17. We were watching a movie or show where two guys kiss, and she said she thought it was super hot, so I told her I'd kissed a couple of guys too. So maybe you could, y'know, if the opportunity arises, you could just take it."

"I guess." Richie fidgets with his seat belt, not in a million years imagining he'd be having this conversation today with someone he'd never even met before. "Gotta get my parents to watch some gay movie with me first, though. Which one do you recommend, Brokeback Mountain or The Crying Game?"

Eddie parks in front of an old building. "We're here." He smiles. "Listen, don't worry too much about it. I know when the time comes, you'll know what to do." Richie follows him to an ancient elevator, and he almost doesn't get inside; the thing looks ready to plummet straight to the center of the earth. But he watches Eddie striding in, the way his absurdly plump ass hugs his jeans, and decides he has to see it without the two layers of clothing covering it. Or one, if he goes commando.

"Do all your booty calls tell you how terrified they are of this old ass elevator or am I the first one?"

Eddie gives Richie an enigmatic smile. "Do you think that's what this is? Just a booty call?"

"I… I…" Richie completely forgets his apprehension towards the elevator. "It is whatever you want it to be." He really hopes that's a good answer.

"Me?" Eddie takes a step towards Richie. "And what about you? What do you want, Rich?" At the moment, all Richie wants is for his heart not to burst from his chest like it's trying to. The elevator dings, _actually dings,_ and Eddie steps out, still wearing that strange smile. "C'mon. Don't have an aneurysm."

Just as he's about to unlock it, the door opens, and a red-haired woman is standing there, looking like something out of a modelling catalog. Girlfriend? _Is_ Richie just a booty call after all?

"You're back already? I thought you were--" She notices Richie and smiles. "Oh, and who might this cutie be?"

Eddie looks from her to Richie. "Richie, Bev. Bev, Richie. Weren't you on your way out?"

"Keep being mean to me and I'll throw away all your gluten free corn flakes." She does come out, patting Eddie on the cheek. "You're lucky I don't wanna keep Ben waiting."

"Oh, decided on that second date after all?" He turns to watch her go.

"Ugh, his texts are too adorable, I can't stand it. I had to. Tell you all about it later." She waves and runs just in time to catch the elevator.

Richie follows Eddie inside, waiting for him to lock the door. "Roommate?"

"No, that's my wife." When Richie just gapes at him, he smiles. "I really gotta work on my delivery. Yeah, she's my roommate. There's another one, but he's locked in his room writing and I assure you he won't come out for at least another week."

"Really? What does he eat?" Richie keeps following Eddie, looking around. The apartment, although old, is very neat and clean. He feels a sting of jealousy, thinking about how messy his place always is. Even though it's mostly his fault.

When they reach the bedroom, Eddie turns around with a frown. "I don't know. You ask interesting questions, Richie. Now how about you answer mine?" He reaches behind Richie and locks the door.

Richie takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. "Honestly? I don't know. What I know is, the moment I saw you, it felt like something fell into place. I felt like… actually I didn't feel like turning away and leaving. And not just because you're drop dead gorgeous. Can't believe I just said that. But because something told me to. I want to get to know you, Eddie."

The smile on Eddie's face as he pulls Richie to the bed isn't strange anymore, but warm and genuine. "Good. Thought I was the only one." He places a hand on Richie's face, pulling him down a little. "When I saw your show, all I could think about was how much I wanted to talk to you, to know all about you. But both times I went there, I couldn't find you afterwards."

Richie's lost in Eddie's eyes. "I… I usually just go straight home. I get nervous when people talk to me."

"Then I guess I won't talk to you anymore." He pulls Richie the rest of the way, lips closing chastely over his. And then he sits down, and Richie follows, a knee on the bed, the other buckling under him. When Eddie licks his lips asking for entrance, it does buckle, and he gives up trying to stand and just crawls into Eddie's lap, opening his mouth and letting their tongues get acquainted with one another.

He pushes Eddie's jacket from his shoulders, and Eddie stops to pull his t-shirt off, just to immediately go back to Richie's lips, deft fingers making quick work on unbuttoning his shirt. Then Eddie falls back on the bed, pulling him along, and rolls them over. He grinds against Richie once, twice, and Richie can't stand it anymore, there's still too much clothing between them. He snakes a hand to his fly, unbuttoning and pulling his jeans off with his feet, hoping Eddie will do the same. But Eddie just helps him out, dragging his shorts off too.

"Fuck, you're really happy to be here, aren't you?" He palms Richie before he has a chance to answer, stroking him in a sensual pace and kissing him again.

Richie needs Eddie naked against him though, so he repeats his previous move, this time on Eddie's fly. Eddie moves his lips to Richie's neck, then his ear. "What do you want, Rich? What should I do with you, huh?"

There's no doubt what Richie wants. "I really want you to fuck me, Eddie. And I'd also really like to see your ass." 

Eddie laughs, but starts removing his pants. "Sure, look all you want." He gets up and walks to his dresser, and Richie looks. It's so round and smooth, so unblemished. Richie wants to bite it. Bite it and leave the unmistakable mark of his teeth. Then he wants Eddie to mark him too, however he sees fit. Richie imagines him jerking off over him and painting him with his cum. He moans, and Eddie turns his head, throwing a bottle of lube on the bed. "Hey, are you starting out without me?"

"No, I just--" If he tells Eddie he was just thinking, he'll want to know what about, and Richie doesn't want to come across as possessive. This whole marking business sounds way too intimate. They aren't even in a relationship yet, although Richie's really hoping this will change. "I was just anticipating."

"Don't worry, you're not the only one who's eager." Eddie turns around, condom in hands, and now Richie finds himself staring at his cock. Beautiful, just like the rest of him. Richie's watched a lot of porn, but he's hardly ever seen a dick he's actually found pretty. Eddie's is. Pretty, delectable and standing for action. "Would you finger yourself? I'd love to watch."

Richie would smear himself in honey and stand on an anthill if Eddie asked him to. "Sure, I am a showman, after all." He pours some of the lube on a finger, lies down and bends his knee, giving Eddie a perfect view. He wastes no time, fucking himself expertly, just like he does when he's on his own, and loving how much better the lube feels than the oil. "How's this?"

Eddie sits down, eyes glued on Richie's hand. "Fuck, it's hot. You're so hot, Richie. Damn, I can't wait to be inside you."

Richie can't wait either, so he's more than pleased when Eddie opens the condom and starts rolling it in. "Alright, that's the end of the spectacle. Now it's time for you to show me what you got."

Eddie moves on top of Richie and his hand replaces Richie's where he's holding his knee. "I'll give it to you good and hard. How about it?"

"Yes, please." Eddie smiles and despite his words, enters him carefully, and they've barely started, but it's already so much better than with the other guy, who barely gave him any time to adjust and just went to town regardless. But he shakes the memory away, he'd be doing Eddie a disservice, thinking about another guy while they're fucking.

"Fuck, you're tight. Are you okay?"

"Should've read the instructions, Eds. You're in possession of one (1) Richie Tozier, barely used. Oh, and there's a no returning policy, sorry."

"You're… you're not a virgin, are you?"

"Hey, I said barely. And I'm ready now, for that good and hard one you've promised."

Eddie fondles his hair and kisses him. "Tell me if you want me to slow down, okay?" Richie nods, and Eddie moves.

He moves like he means it, driving deep into Richie, speeding up with every thrust, and Richie knows he's found his groove. Being fucked by Eddie is his jam. His aesthetic. "Harder, Eds."

Instead of complying, Eddie actually stops, glaring at Richie with a grin. "Do you know the expression, _'don't let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash'_? Do you wanna see how literal that can go?"

Richie does know it, and he decides to add fuel to the fire. "I like you and all, but we've just met, man. I thought I was in for a fucking, not love-making. Are you gonna ask for my hand in marriage too while you're at it?" He feels a little bad for railing such a considerate person. But that's exactly what he needs: a damn good railing.

Although taken aback, Eddie doesn't seem the least bit put off by it. He bites Richie's neck, sucking hard and mercilessly on it. "Your wish is my command." He pulls almost all of the way out, then rams hard into Richie, who moans lewdly and opens his legs more. He does it again almost immediately, and Richie swears he can feel him poking his brain.

"That's what I'm talking about."

"Yeah, you cheeky bastard? Is that what you like? To get fucked within an inch of your life?" He's found a steady rhythm now, pounding into Richie over and over.

"What can I, ah… say, you bring the best out of me, Eds." When Eddie leans down to suck on his neck again, the other side this time, Richie gets a hand on his hair, fingers threading lovingly over the strands, the complete opposite of how they're moving.

If this doesn't work out, Richie doesn't know what he's going to do. Probably go back to being celibate, but this time listening to emo songs from his youth and crying while masturbating. He's already emotionally involved. And he'd really like to get wrecked like this on a daily basis.

Richie takes himself in hand when he feels his orgasm approaching, and Eddie leans back to watch, eyes hungrily raking all over him. "I'd do it myself if it wouldn't fuck up with my pacing. Next time, you ride me so I can make you spill all over yourself with my own hands, okay?"

 _Next time._ That does it, and Richie practically yells when he comes, which Eddie finds hilarious. And hot, absurdly hot.

"Do you want me to pull out?"

"No, no, keep going. Fuck me until I pass out." His whole body is still tingling, his brain going fuzzy. Eddie's cock in his ass is the only thing keeping him from actually passing out.

"Damn, you're a keeper. I just knew it." He kisses Richie's forehead and continues, a few more thrusts that have Richie mewling and his eyes rolling back. "Fuck…" Eddie thrusts one last time, then goes completely still. Richie can feel him twitching inside him, and he smiles, finally completely satisfied.

When he opens his eyes, he's alone, but the covers have been pulled over him, and he notices he's been cleaned up. There's someone laughing right outside the door, but it doesn't sound like Eddie. He considers getting up to go see, but he's way too sore and tired for that right now. Then the door opens, and Eddie sticks his head in.

"Rich, do you wanna see a movie with me and Bill?"

Bill? He can only guess it's the roommate. "Wasn't he supposed to stay in his cave for a week?"

"Well, he told me _someone_ disturbed his concentration, so now he's out. He said he was mostly done anyway, don't pay attention to him."

Richie sits up and finds that yes, he can move. His clothes are neatly folded beside him, so he gets dressed while Eddie gazes at him from the door. "What are we watching?"

"Some indie horror schlock, I dunno. Uh, sorry about your neck."

"My neck?" Richie notices a mirror on the wall next to the bed and gets up to examine the damage. It's perfect, just what he wanted. "Oh, don't worry about it. I'll scratch my name on your back one of these days and we're even."

Eddie pulls him by the hand with a smirk. "Looking forward to it."

There's a blond man with disheveled hair wearing a seemingly ancient bathrobe sitting on the couch, which he can only guess it's Bill. When he sees them coming, he does a double take. "You're big."

Low hanging fruit. "You haven't seen anything yet." Richie winks.

Eddie sits down in the middle of the couch, effectively preventing Richie from sitting beside Bill. "Nor will he. I'm not into sharing, Rich."

Richie sits beside him, kissing his cheek. "I'm kidding, you dork." Eddie still keeps his hand on Richie's thigh through most of the movie, and suddenly Richie thinks he's not the only one with possessive thoughts.

When the movie's almost over, Eddie gets a text. "It's Bev, says she's bringing her date over. I'm ordering pizza." Instead of doing that, he turns to Richie. "Y'know, it's a Friday night. No one works tomorrow, right? What if we had a get together? I've been meaning to talk to Stan anyway. Can you text him?"

"Sure." Richie sends Stan a text to see if he's awake, and he immediately replies. "I have another roommate too, is it cool if he comes along?"

"The more the merrier," Bill says from his corner of the couch, and Eddie nods.

Eddie ends up ordering pizza for eight people, because Patty is coming along too, and Richie wonders how awkward this is going to be, given she's his ex. They bring a few chairs from the kitchen, while Eddie litters the coffee table with coasters.

"I swear if I see anyone placing their drink anywhere other than on these, I'm skinning them, then wearing their carcass for halloween."

Right, he's a clean freak. Richie had almost forgotten. Makes sense their place being so tidy.

When Bev arrives with her date, Richie's taken aback, the guy's practically his size. Heavier set too. So far, Mike had been the only person he knew who could rival him in height. It makes him realize he's not really a freak, after all. "Guys, this is Ben. Say hi, Ben."

"Hi." He has a shy smile, and Bev just beams at him, when she, much like Richie, realizes he almost said "Hi, Ben."

While everyone's discussing what movie to watch, Stan, Mike and Patty arrive. Eddie hugs Patty like they're old friends, and it doesn't feel weird like Richie had feared. He sees Eddie pulling Stan aside.

"Listen, I'm sorry I threatened to kill you and your entire family." Richie doesn't mean to overhear it, but it doesn't look like they're trying to keep their conversation a secret or anything.

"It's okay, Eddie. I didn't take it to heart. I know you're only looking out for her."

"Yeah… she's like a sister to me. No wonder we didn't work out. Richie, on the other hand…" He looks at the couch, where Richie's caught staring, his ears instantly turning red. Eddie smiles. "No familial feelings there on my part. Familiar, maybe, like we've met before. But I can't quite put my finger on why."

It's then that Richie decides to join them, not before grabbing a slice of pizza on the way. "Maybe we knew each other in a different universe, where our love was forbidden, Eds. Star crossed lovers. Wait, no. That just sounds like incest to me, which you know all about, since you've boned your sister." He waves at the blonde woman watching them with a smile as she discusses with Bill and Mike.

Eddie rolls his eyes, doing a chopping motion with his hand. "She's not _really_ my sister, alright? We just grew up together."

Richie opens his mouth, but doesn't have the chance to say much. "Hey Eddie," Bev calls from the kitchen. "Would you come here for a sec? Ben wants to know about this building's architecture, and he won't take my 'it's just old' explanation. You know a little about it, don't you?"

"Be right there." He kisses Richie, running a hand over his waist before he leaves.

"Good timing." Stan pulls Richie closer to the door, so this time they are out of everyone else's hearing range. "Listen, I know of your penchant for hideous mom jokes, but… it's not my place to talk to you about it, but please, just refrain from telling them around Eddie. He's had some issues with his mother in the past, and I know you don't want to make him uncomfortable."

"Fuck, thanks for the heads up, Stan my man. I had a segue ready for that sister fucking bit for when he came back."

Stan pats his shoulder. "I imagined. By the way, you do know none of your mom jokes are funny and everyone hates them, right?"

"Really? Because your mom was smiling from ear to ear last time I went down on her."

"You're gay, Rich."

Richie sighs. "I know. Old habits and all that shit. By the way, you're not the only one dating an ex of someone else in this house. Bill used to date Bev, who's now seeing Ben. And now Billy boy seems like he's hitting pretty hard on our Mikey over there. Close knit group, huh?"

Stan nods. "It wouldn't surprise me if we all went to each other's weddings someday. By the way, is Eddie a vampire or what?"

"Huh?"

"Your neck."

"Oh." Richie runs a finger over the love bites Eddie left on his neck. "Like I said, in a different universe, I wouldn't doubt. Sexy vampire Eds Kaspbrak. Yeah, I like the sound of that."

They watch more schlocky horror, Eddie hiding his face on Richie's neck in every jumpscare, then pretending it didn't happen. Richie's in heaven. In the end, Bev takes Ben to her room, Stan cuddles up with Patty on the couch, which is thankfully a pull out, and Richie has no idea where Mike went. Then again, he hasn't seen Bill in a while either. 

"Wanna come to bed?" Eddie hugs him from behind, kissing his shoulder as he's finishing the dishes. Richie might be a slob at home, but he has a least a little bit of decency in other people's houses.

"Yeah, still gotta get you back for the hickeys." He turns and kisses Eddie, holding his face with his wet hands. Eddie laughs and bats them away.

"I seem to remember you saying something about scratching your name on my back."

"Listen, I intend to jump on your dick and ride you like you're my own personal mechanical bull, so apologies in advance if my calligraphy isn't all that."

Instead of continuing the banter, Eddie just pulls Richie to his room, not wanting to waste another minute.

__

When Stan moves in with Patty, Richie and Mike contemplate life. They could move to a smaller house. They could take their significant others' offer and move in with them. Bev seems about ready to tie the knot with Ben anyway, she won't live with them for much longer. Mike's ready to go. Richie… not quite yet.

He'd been subtly inserting jokes in his act here and there about his sexual orientation, to the point the transition was practically seamless. Sometimes people would ask him, _didn't you used to have a girlfriend?_ And all Richie did then was remind them not everything an entertainer says on a stage is true. He didn't really kill his childhood bully with an axe, are you crazy? It was a bit, man.

He asks Stan to record him, on a night where he does his cleanest set ever. It still gets laughs out of everyone, and when he calls Eddie to join him on stage, the laughter turns into whooping and whistles. "Wave to the camera, Eds." Eddie waves to where Stan is filming them, a smile so perky it makes craters out of his dimples. Richie plants a rehearsed, yet very cinematic kiss on his lips, then looks straight into the vicinity of Stan's table. "Mom, dad. I'm gay and this is the love of my life. I'm gonna ask him to marry me someday, and I hope you will come. That's all, bye." This last bit wasn't in the rehearsals, and Stan's phone does a great job of capturing Eddie's shocked smile. "Or maybe he'll ask me, I don't know. You see, that's one of the beautiful things about being gay, if you don't have the cash for a ring, you can always just pray really hard that your boyfriend will ask you instead." The crowd laughs, Richie kisses Eddie again and finishes the set.

After he sends the video, they celebrate, and Richie even orders champagne, which he hates. He rests his arm over the back of Eddie's chair, while Eddie surreptitiously caresses his thigh under the table. "You know it's not a secret I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, right Eds?"

Eddie pinches his thigh, then resumes the caressing. "I had an idea, since I feel the same way. And while it's true I still don't have a ring for you, I really want to buy one. Or get one from you, it's like you said, right? Between two guys, it could go either way. Not that women can't do it too if they want to. I'm pretty sure Bev's gonna be the exception to the rule and ask Ben to marry her just to prove you wrong."

Richie grins. "Ah, that would be a lovely reason to propose."

"My point is, we could even get them together, I don't think my anxiety would even allow me to wait for you to ask, actually. Just think about what I asked you the other day first and we'll go from there."

Finishing his glass of champagne with a grimace, Richie sighs. "Ah, Eds. You've ruined the surprise. You were supposed to take me to your apartment tonight and see that Mike already brought all our shit there this afternoon while we were rehearsing. I really wanted to see the look on your face."

"What-- Richie, so is that a yes? You're moving in with me?"

"Already did, actually. You just gotta make a little room for me in your wardrobe and--" Eddie kisses him, slow and soft. "I love you, Eddie."

"I love you too, Richie. So much. But if you turn our apartment into a pigsty, I will show you the true meaning of pain."

 _Our apartment._ Richie likes the sound of that. Sure, it won't be just the two of them, for now, but what matters is that he and Eddie are together.

Richie's phone buzzes on the table and he raises it to look at the screen. He doesn't even need to unlock it to read the simple message. And he thought he would end the night without crying.

_We'll save the date, honey. Proud of you. Mom._

**Author's Note:**

> I've written more stuff, don't forget to check it and click kudos if you liked this. Comments make my day.


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